John 3:8 The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”
My daughter asked for water, so I brought her some, and set it beside her. “Here, Hunny”
Moments later she noted, “When did you put that there? I didn’t even see when you put that there”
I wasn’t stealthy. I placed it in plain sight. She could’ve seen if she was paying attention. Yet her mind was busy on something else at the time.
This reminded me of my oblivion to God’s masterful orchestration earlier in my life.
God prompted me to start writing my story in 2014. Before this, I never realized how involved He was! While writing, He allowed me to connect the dots, to find hidden pictures! First He showed how He allowed my early childhood education to fall behind in order to get my parents to send me to a Christian school. The private secular school I was registered for didn’t start until 8th grade. My parents needed an instant fix. The school that was willing to take me, made my parents promise I’d stay there to graduate as a Senior! That’s of course, the place I heard Jesus knocking. There, Holy Spirit showed me God is holy, and that I needed a whole lot of His forgiveness and grace.
Today’s verse speaks of the mysteriously marvelous work of the Holy Spirit. He convicts the world of sin, that Jesus is God’s Son and our desperate need for Him as Savior. (John 15:26, John 16:8-13)
Apart from that, God’s active hand never needs rest, always in full control of our circumstances. His protection from worse occurrences astounds me. He allowed just enough worldly input to get me to realize the deprived nature of my human heart. (Romans 3:10-19, Psalm 14:1-3, 53:1-3, Ecclesiastes 7:20, Psalm 36:1)
Before realizing my messed up education was a blessing, I only felt ‘less than’ in that area. Can you imagine a child still sounding out basic words in 6th grade? Reading was my nemesis, and I swore I would NEVER be a writer! HA, see how the Father redeemed even that aspect of my life!
While writing, I asked God hard questions with a sincere heart. ‘Why did I have to go through struggling with sexual confusion’. I asked Him to reveal the root, and He did – my exposure to porn in 2nd grade. It didn’t give me an excuse, but a logical explanation from where my desires arose. Then I asked ‘why was I exposed to that’. We live in a fallen world. Sin causes pain, suffering, and defiling of purity.
None of us compare to God’s glorious, holy, moral standard. We all inherited a bent toward sin. And I considered myself one of the worst offenders of breaking His law of love and truth. (Mark 7:20-23)
Now, I actually consider it a blessing to have 1 obviously shameful sin. It revealed clearly my need for Savior, Jesus. Because other than that, I thought all my behavior was justified. As my loving husband says, if it wasn’t for my past, I probably wouldn’t have such a huge heart for the mission of God. I wouldn’t burden for others who’re being deceived in the same areas or any other crafty schemes of the enemy. (1 Peter 5:8)
Praise God for the workings of His Holy Spirit!
What about you? Do you have questions about struggles or circumstances you’ve found yourself in? I urge you to write your story, in the honesty of the Holy Spirit. You will be AMAZED at the healing He will bring, even over things you didn’t know needed it!
Heavenly Father, show us the glory of Your hidden work in our lives so we may proclaim Your greatness to others! Thank-you for your hidden protection. For all the ways You orchestrate the tiny details of our lives to draw us closer to You. The depth of Your love for us will always astound us. You are so faithful, guiding each wayward heart to You. ~Amen