Hebrews 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Have you ever felt like…. questioning the character of God? What a horrible, blasphemous thought.
I’ve grappled with predestination, and election for many years. Crushing doubt conflicting with God’s true loving character. With my human mind, I just couldn’t reconcile these issues, but just kept going around in circles.
He can’t hate us, only the sin that separates us from Him. That’s why He sent His only Son, while we were still sinners having NO hope of being reunited with Him.
Yet this world is full of people who are unsaved, for whom when I think about it, I hold a deep burden. Once again, I let my feelings rule over the truth of God. I began to store up dissension in my heart for God. How could He? I saw myself coming undone before the Lord. I became irritable, and snappy towards my family. The knowledge of the love of God was overshadowed with unbelief and bitterness. The peak of this full scale attack was fairly quick, over a couple days, as I descended into ugliness. Mostly, I hating myself, knowing deep down I was in the wrong. In my desperate need, I begged the Lord not to let my heart be hardened.
It finally came to a point where I was so angry at Jesus, mistakenly thinking that somehow He doesn’t love everyone, since not all are saved. I could emotionally and spiritually envision myself pounding on the loving chest of Jesus. As he took my blows with compassion and unwaveringness, he responded to me, “I love every face you see”.
At these words, I melted in comfort with a thankful heart. My doubts evaporated, as I basked in His invisible loving warm embrace.
What a blessed intimate moment with the Lord, in raw emotions, built up over months if not years of lingering doubt of God’s love for everyone.
The bible is very clear on God loving everyone: 1 John 4:8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. John 3:16 “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. 2 Peter 3:9 The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent. Matthew 5:45 In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike.
Late that night, weary from the trial yet refreshed from it’s resolution, I went to mark out my song map for the drums, last minute before playing the next day. It was a new song. I’d been avoiding actually sitting down to hear it the whole week, for knowing I wasn’t in my right mind. That’s when the Lord, in His great grace and love, reinforced the heart knowledge which He just shared with me.
The song, carefully prayed over by the pastors wife as she picked it was, ‘Fierce’ by Jesus Culture. Instantly upon being captivated by the lyrics, my pen and book hit the floor. I melted down with them in deep worship of the Lord who’s love is like no other! So deep, so wide, so intentional, and oh so personal. This was such perfect timing, one can’t even imagine. It’s His loving embrace that I never want to depart from.
Please go look it up on youtube, and joy with me in His great love for us. His great love for ALL of us.
Thank-you Jesus, when we are weary of trying to lean on our own understanding, you scoop us up in your loving embrace. You breathe new life into us and new understanding of all that matters — You love us, died for us, and call us each by name to come unhindered into your presence, by Your blood. What great grace You show us! -Amen